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Don’t Listen to THEM. Listen to YOU.
This article originally ran seven years ago. My kiddos have grown; the older one is a sophomore in college, while the younger is a sophomore in high school. However, this article still rings true. I pray they listen to themselves because they are amazing people, and this world is cruel to amazing people.
My older daughter is entering seventh grade tomorrow. My memories of seventh grade are not great. It was a difficult time as we all tried to come to terms with changing bodies and increased expectations and shifting alliances. We were all struggling, and some dealt with that struggle by striking out. There is nothing in the world nastier than a seventh grade girl who is scared. I remember feeling like I was ugly and freaky and just plain wrong. I didn’t wear the “right” clothes. I didn’t have the “right” haircut. I was smart and didn’t want to hide it. I laughed too loud, preferred acting to sports, and made the Honor Roll every six weeks. I didn’t conform. I am scared that my daughter, an enthusiastic, sensitive soul who loves her pixie cut and her factoid-filled brain will be made to feel like she is ugly and freaky and just plain wrong. And that breaks my heart.
One night recently, I was listening to the Olympic coverage while I was making dinner. Alex Morgan, a female Olympian and soccer star, said at the end of an interview, “Don’t listen to Them. Listen to YOU.” That phrase entered into my soul. I started thinking about that, about how I wish someone had told me that when I was in seventh grade. In the middle of a bout of insomnia, I wrote this to my twelve-year-old daughter and to my twelve-year-old self.
Don’t listen to Them
To the clothing companies that tell you to wear their brands in order to be accepted
To the movies that tell you that you have to be blonde and blue-eyed and anorexic to be loved
To the magazines that lie to you as they Photoshop away pimples and wrinkles and bulges
Don’t listen to Them
To the naysayers
To the bullies
To the false friends who praise you to your face but laugh behind your back
Don’t listen to Them
To the negatives that mess with your head
To the sneers that break your heart
To the mocking that make you want to hurt your body
To the insults that smash your soul
Listen to You
To the voice in your head that says “I look GOOD” when you are wearing your favorite outfit with a new haircut
Listen to You
To the voice in your heart that tells you to be kind the girl who wears the “wrong” clothes and the boy with the limp and funny voice
Listen to You
To the voice in your body that tells you that you are strong enough to finish that race or top that climbing wall or sing that solo
Listen to You
To the voice in your soul that tells you that you are smart, you are strong, you are beautiful, you are good, and that you matter because you ARE smart, you ARE strong, you ARE beautiful, you ARE good
and
YOU MATTER MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW
Listen to YOU
Lee Virden (the one in the goofy bandana and boots) is the mother of two amazing girls who are about to start another year of school. Another year off homework and projects and school plays and trying to navigate through an increasingly confusing social scene. She prays every day that her girls continue to listen to themselves and not Them.
Bravo, Lee. You’ve voiced, even in you sleepless state, what many Moms and Dad’s worry about with their kids. Keep it up.
Thank you, my friend!
Lee this is great bc so many parents feel the exact same way. I tell my son every year to be a leader and reach out to any student who may feel left out. Make every single student feel special. In the true picture every single kid just wants to be noticed!! My prayer is for all our kids to have a successful year!! Love you friend!!!
Love you, my friend!!
Wonderful advice. It’s just hard advice to hear when you’re 12… Or 21. I hope it gets through to your beautiful girls.
Lee your girls are lucky to have you guiding them
Perfect Lee….I am going to read this to my 7th grade daughter tonight!!
LB
I think Alex Morgan said that. I made my 15 year old daughter watch that!
Yes! Thank you!!
Lee
Lee,your words are a treasure! Wishing all of us a successful school year!We are so fortunate to know you and your beautiful family! Thank you!